


World on Fire

by GaryTheFish



Series: Hope is a Four Letter Word [19]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-21 18:00:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7397782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaryTheFish/pseuds/GaryTheFish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hearts are worn in these dark ages<br/>You're not alone in this story's pages<br/>The light has fallen amongst the living and the dying<br/>And I'll try to hold it in, yeah I'll try to hold it in</p><p>I watch the heavens but I find no calling<br/>Something I can do to change what's coming<br/>Stay close to me while the sky is falling<br/>Don't wanna be left alone, don't wanna be alone</p><p>The world's on fire and<br/>It's more than I can handle<br/>I'll tap into the water<br/>(Try to bring my share)<br/>I try to bring more<br/>More than I can handle<br/>(Bring it to the table)<br/>Bring what I am able</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> (Yeeaaahhhh, so this one got a little out of control and will probably end up being two or three chapters. Here's the first.) :)

Aeslin was in the hallway when Tony found her; she leaned against the wall with a shirt draped over one shoulder. The bathroom door next to her was slightly ajar, steam leaking from the opening. Tony took everything in at a glance, from her blood-stained jeans to the circles under her eyes. His voice was clipped when he finally spoke.

“He hurt you?”

“No.”

Tony folded his arms, then immediately thought better of it, shoved his hands into his pockets and paced a few steps down the hall before turning back.

“You should have called me.”

“I _did_ call you, Tony,” she responded, exhaustion plain in every word. “That’s why you’re here.”

“That’s not what I mean, and you know it.”

She shook her head. “There was nothing you could have done. It wouldn’t have helped, and there’s a very real possibility that it would have made things worse.”

“You don’t know that.”

“It happened fast. _Scary_ fast, and the worst part was over long before you could have gotten here. It’s all right, Tony. I promise. You’re here now. Let that count.” A word drifted out the bathroom door, somewhere inside the steam and almost lost beneath the splashing of the shower. She leaned her head toward the opening. “Polo,” she said simply. Tony stared at her for a second, and she shrugged. “He wouldn’t let me in there with him, but he couldn’t handle being alone. It’s a compromise.”

Stark scrubbed his hand through his hair and resumed pacing. “Guys’ll be on their way over to replace the window within the hour. Was that him, too?”

“No,” she replied evenly. “That was all me. I’ll pay for the new one, if you’d like.”

He waved a hand dismissively. “Not important. I guess I should ask if he’s okay, though.”

“He’s not physically injured, if that’s what you’re getting at.”

“I don’t _know_ what I’m getting at, Ace,” he replied, all but wringing his hands. “I just know that I got a phone call less than thirty minutes ago telling me you needed to know who to call to replace a window, the couch was fine, and, oh, by the way, Loki _might_ have had a psychotic break and may or may not have threatened to kill you. Now you’re playing kids’ games through a bathroom door, and I’m almost sure I scared the literal crap out of a seagull that _probably_ shouldn’t have been in your kitchen, but I’m not exactly qualified to judge somebody else’s personal habits. It’s been an interesting sort of morning, and apparently that’s going to be the understatement of the year from the way _you_ look.”

“Polo,” she said again. “What do you want me to say? He was taking a nap. He seemed restless. I tried to wake him up. It didn’t go well, as you can see.”

“Who takes a nap at eight in the morning?” Tony studied her intently before closing his eyes in frustration, jaw clenched. “Unless this didn’t just happen.”

“Yesterday afternoon,” she confirmed. “We were up all night talking. He finally fell asleep around seven, but he was only out for about an hour and a half. I haven’t slept at all.”

“Then maybe the two of you should look into that.” His voice was stern.

“He won’t go back to sleep, and he won’t take a sedative. I’ll be fine; I’ve done it before, lots of times. I’m going to talk him into something to help tonight, but I guarantee it will take some serious negotiations.”

“And in the meantime?”

“He wants to go to headquarters and have Jarvis look over him. He doesn’t think there’s anything physically wrong, but he needs to be sure his brain’s still his own. I don’t blame him. After that, he’s coming to the stables with me for the day. Probably for the rest of the week, if that’s all right.”

“Polo,” they said in unison toward the door, and then Tony lowered his voice again. “Do whatever you need to, kid, provided you’re _both_ taken care of. Don’t fix this at your own expense. You’ve worked too hard.”

“Understood.”

A nod at the almost-closed door. “Think he’d let me sit with him long enough for you to get cleaned up?”

“Probably,” she told him as the water shut off. “You can ask him.”

A few moments later, Loki emerged through the steam, hair still damp and wearing only a pair of jeans. He took the shirt Aeslin offered him without a word, nodding to Tony with an unreadable expression.

“Stark.”

“Loki.”

They went into the library, avoiding the gaping hole in the living room wall altogether; Tony perched one hip on the ladder as Loki and Aeslin took the spot on the windowseat, shoulders almost touching.

“Have you come for me, then?” he asked quietly, staring at his feet as he twisted the shirt a little in his hands. “To take me elsewhere?”

“No,” Tony said calmly, taking his cues from Aeslin’s expression. “I’ve come to keep you company while Doctor Kindle gets a shower, that’s all. She’s not going anywhere without you, so if you’d like to move this party back into the hallway while we wait for her, we can certainly do that, or I’m more than happy to follow you around the house like a ninja so you can do your thing in peace. Your call.”

He didn’t lift his gaze. “We can stay here.”

“Fair enough.”

Aeslin stood. “I’ll be right back.”

Tony shook his head. “Take your time, Ace,” he said, but his next words were directed at Loki. “You’re safe with me.”

She cupped the back of Loki’s head, kissing his forehead; he leaned into it a second too long, eyes closed, and there was an ache in Tony’s stomach as he watched him. Stark ran a finger across the spine of the nearest book, swallowing hard to collect himself as Aeslin left quickly and silently. He’d seen Loki damaged, covered in three different kinds of blood and dripping all over the street, limping his way through Phil’s memorial service without so much as a hiccup, flipping off his brother with a feline grace and a too-bright smile, but until this moment, Tony had never seen him like this, wounded and completely naked. He wasn’t sure who to be angry with, now that the Other was gone; Tony just knew he needed to be angry with _someone_ about the whole mess, and he briefly contemplated starting a list. Instead, he cleared his throat as he looked back at the man on the windowseat.

“Can I get you anything? Cup of tea? Glass of water? I’m fully prepared to fight that damn seagull to the death if I need to.”

“No, thank you,” Loki said to the shirt. He stared at it for a few more seconds, then pulled it over his head. After a long moment, he stood, heading for the back of the house, and Stark casually followed a step or two behind. Loki snagged an elastic from the dresser, running his fingers through his hair and pulling it back into an almost-untidy ponytail, which for some reason bothered Tony even more, because the guy was always so put together it was almost embarrassing to stand next to him in a crowd. He supposed it was the whole royal upbringing thing, now that he stopped to think about it, but it didn’t make it any easier to see. Ducking into the closet, Loki came out again carrying socks and a pair of work boots and sat on the edge of the bed. He pulled them on, not bothering to tie the laces and merely tucking them messily in, and Tony had had enough.

“Tie your shoes.”

Loki looked up, that mask still firmly in place, and Tony shrugged a little.

“You know me,” he said, trying not to backpedal too obviously. “Safety third and always. Can’t have you roaming around the stables with shoes untied. You might trip. Horse might step on them. Horse might step on _you_. Next thing you know, somebody’s built a barricade. Collisions. Explosions. Mass hysteria. Plagues of locusts. Come on. You know better, man; I know you do.”

The faintest hint of a familiar smirk crossed the other man’s lips, but he did as he was told without question; Tony wasn’t sure if that counted as a win or not. It wasn’t Loki without _some_ kind of argument or snarky comment, and Tony started mentally amassing names for the list he hadn’t been aware he’d actually started until this moment.

They went back to the library in silence; Loki glanced down the hallway to the closed bathroom door as he walked. They took positions again, Loki back on the window sill and Tony in the office chair.

“Is this when you tell me if I ever hurt her again, you’ll kill me?” Loki regarded him coolly, his voice a little hoarse. “Because you won’t need to. I’ll save you the trouble.”

“This,” replied Tony, matching his tone, “is when I tell you that what happened is completely expected for people in your situation, and frankly most of us are surprised it didn’t happen sooner. You’ve been holding it together remarkably well, and I’m sure she has a lot to do with that, whether for her or because of her, but you’ve got to understand that this is going to happen. I don’t need to know details. I don’t _want_ to know details, but just know that whatever happened, and I don’t care what it was or what you think, it wasn’t your fault.”

He scoffed, staring down at his boots. “You can’t believe that.”

Tony stayed silent long enough for Loki’s brow to knit, and the other man looked up at him. “Yes,” Tony said once he met his eyes. “I do. Because I have to. Just like you do.” He leaned back in the chair, balancing the heel of one shoe on the toe of the other, swinging his foot like a pendulum.

“You couldn’t kill her,” he went on. “Even if you wanted to. First off, she wouldn’t let you, and second, because you’re still in there. Whatever this thing is that the two of you have, and I’m not even going to pretend to understand it, you’re stronger than what happened. And I don’t mean just the Other. I mean _all_ of it. And she’s not the only one who’s willing to help you.” At Loki’s skeptical look, he shrugged. “Like it or not, you’re an Avenger, and that’s not just lip service. You willingly joined an elite group of seriously jacked up people who will move heaven and earth for each other and don’t care what’s in the way. You bled just as hard as the rest of us, and for the same reasons. I _know_ that counts where you came from, and it counts just as much here. So do me a favor and remember that.”

A soft step at the doorway, and Aeslin appeared, jackets in hand. She leaned against the door jamb with a slight smile, and the corner of Loki’s mouth lifted in response, silver reflecting sunlight.

“Are you ready?” she asked, and Loki nodded as he stood. He glanced at Tony.

“Don’t mind me,” he replied to the unspoken question. “I’m just going to hang out, watch cartoons, wait for the window people, troll Steve from your laptop and eat all your ice cream. Maybe even in that order.”

“Sounds like a rough morning,” she observed.

“All in a day’s work,” Tony grinned. “Happy trails, kids.”


	2. Chapter 2

Loki scrolled through her music player, listening to snatches of songs here and there. She drove as she always did, smoothly working her way up and down the gears without a second thought. The time passed rapidly, and soon she was pulling into a parking space near the medical wing. He glanced up; it was visitor parking, not for employees, but she shrugged and scribbled a note on the back of a receipt she found in the glove box. Resting it on the driver’s side dashboard, she inclined her head.

“Let’s go. Jarvis should already be set up.”

Only a few people were in the hallways; he nodded politely to them as he passed, hands in his jacket pockets. Much as he ached to hold her hand, to be led along, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Instead he walked next to her, tall and proud and wondering how many times Frigga had done the same thing over the long centuries at Odin’s side. He inwardly shook his head. There was a time and place for sentiment, for weakness, and this was neither.

The lights came on as they entered one of the medical bays, and Loki let out a long breath as the door closed behind them. They walked toward the center of the room.

“Good morning,” said Jarvis. “Doctor Kindle. Mr. Laufeyson.”

“Hey, Jarvis,” Aeslin responded. “Did you get the orders we sent over?”

“I did indeed. Everything is ready, Mr. Laufeyson, if you’d just like to lie down on the table.”

 _The table_. His heart stopped. He hadn’t considered that this might be part of it. “Isn’t there another way? Surely your system is powerful enough to scan me right here.”

“Not at the depth you seemed interested in obtaining. Too much background noise, for lack of a better term, and much of the deeper scanning technology is in the table itself. It’s perfectly safe, I assure you, even for your physiology.”

“I understand,” Loki said, hearing the desperation in his own voice. “It’s just that-”

“Here.” Aeslin shrugged off her jacket and handed it to him. “I’ll go first, J, if that’s okay.”

“Same specifications?”

“Sure. Pepper was kind enough to waive my employment physical, given the circumstances, so we may as well do it now.”

She lay down and put her hands at her sides, adjusting to a more comfortable position. She blew upward, trying to get a tendril of hair from her face without success, and Loki took a step closer and brushed it behind her ear. She smiled in thanks.

“Several passes,” came the voice of the AI as he backed away again. “It should be less than five minutes, all told.”

She grinned fractionally. “Wake me when you’re done.”

The room dimmed a little, and then blue light slowly fanned up her body, lingering on the planes of her face before vanishing. The pattern was repeated with green lights which then faded. She opened her eyes and looked up at Loki with a smile, then deliberately reached up to scratch her nose.

“Please remain still, Doctor Kindle,” Jarvis chastened, voice smooth and even, and she winked at Loki before straightening out and closing her eyes again.

Another sweep of blue light, then one of white and a rapid flash of gold.

“Done. Please step down.”

Aeslin came to a sitting position, then hopped off the table. “And how am I doing?”

Flickers along the wall screens, and then Jarvis spoke again. “No concerns with your current condition. Physiology remains the same. Cortical activity still strong but seems concentrated in several areas. I’m assuming that is due to the fact you haven’t been calling on your powers.”

“Right on the first guess,” she replied easily. “So no issues with my brain?”

“No,” came the response, “though with the changes you’ve suggested lately, I’d like to do another set of scans while you’re using your powers to see what’s different, if anything.”

“Another time,” Aeslin promised. “As long as I’ve got a clean bill of health…”

“Completely. Not even a hiccup.”

She looked at Loki expectantly, and he nodded as he raised his chin a little. “Ready for me, then?”

“Of course, Mr. Laufeyson.” Another gleam of gold light on the table. “Decon complete. Please make yourself comfortable.”

She stayed nearby while Jarvis did his work, close enough that Loki could catch the faint scent of her soap, clean and soothing.

“You needn’t hold your breath, Sir. My scanners are calibrated against motion artifacts.”

He cleared his throat a little awkwardly; he hadn’t realized he was doing it. “Of course.”

“Scans complete.”

The first word had barely died out before Loki was practically scrambling off the table. He stood, gathering himself with some effort. Shaking his head at her look, he wove his index finger through one of her belt loops in an attempt to ground himself; he could almost hear the fabric creaking beneath the strain.

His images appeared on the screens. “I’m pleased to report no changes, Mr. Laufeyson,” Jarvis said. “I’ve compared your scans to those taken just after your banishment, as well as others I’ve done since then, as per your request.”

“Even after New York?”

“Yes,” Jarvis confirmed. “Nothing different. No areas of concern, either in mind or body.” There was a pause, and the AI seemed to be thinking. “You are your own, Mr. Laufeyson. I am certain of it. Is that not what you wanted to hear?”

“It is,” replied Loki. “But I wonder if the other answer might have been easier.”

***

Loki stared out the window of the car as they drove toward the stables, rolling Aeslin’s prism between his fingers in a thoughtless pattern. Occasionally, he lifted it toward the glass, coaxing the late morning light through it and onto her cheek or hand. She would smile each time, violet or green painting the shallow dimple near her mouth, and he would quirk his lips in turn, a little abashed.

Apologies to both Maggie and Trig for the being late (received with varying degrees of understanding), and then they were in a tack room. Aeslin sat on a bench while she changed into her work boots, tied her hair back and began her morning routine. Loki haunted her steps like a specter, silent and contemplative as he trailed her through the stables. The fourth time she turned too rapidly, smacking full into his chest before realizing how close he had been following, she backed up and looked up at him thoughtfully. Then she took his hand, gently but firmly, and walked them both back the way she had come, where a massive dappled grey stood patiently waiting.

Aeslin bent down, hand still wrapped around his, and as she stood, she slipped a soft curry comb over Loki’s fingers. He stared down at it for a second, then back at her. She turned toward the horse.

“Loki Laufeyson,” she said, “meet Bean.”

“Bean.” He came closer, and the horse surveyed him thoughtfully.

“More formally, the Right Honourable-with-a-U Slickseed Fuzzybean. His previous owner was a botanist.”

“Oh, gods,” Loki managed, giving the beast a sympathetic look. “Your poor, beautiful bastard.”

The horse nickered in response and eyed the brush in his hand meaningfully.

“Bean,” Aeslin went on, “is a shameless hussy when it comes to personal attention, and that’s his favorite brush. You do the math.”

“But-”

“And if you tell me the only thing you ever did in Odin’s stables was frolic inappropriately with the hired help, you will be flat out lying.” She planted a kiss on his jaw and walked away, toward Trig’s stall. “Get to work,” she said over her shoulder. “You’re making me crazy.”

Loki’s movements were mechanical at first, a mere smoothing of the brush across the beast’s back until a thump on his shoulder got his attention. Bean looked at him with a patient sort of expression not unlike Aeslin’s, and he sighed. “Sorry.”

The repetitive motions soothed him, and he found himself thinking of Banner, sweeping up after the mess they’d made of Stark Tower. He’d forgotten what physical labor could do, and he found himself so engrossed what he was doing that he barely noticed when Aeslin brought Trig to the next station and began her work. When he spoke, his own voice surprised him.

“This isn’t how it was supposed to go.”

She peeked at him over Trig’s broad back, eyebrow raised. “Is it ever?”

“You know what I mean. I was supposed to be the strong one in all this.”

“You are.”

He shook his head. “I almost killed you, love.”

“Almost isn’t did, and I don’t think you would have, in the end.”

Loki scrubbed at the cheek Bean shoved at him, working tiny circles down the jaw. Shameless was right; the beast made Sleipnir look positively standoffish, and that was no easy feat. He sighed. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” he said again. “I was going to help you. I was going to lift you. Carry you over the rough patches. Offer you anything you would let me, no strings and no questions. I put the memories away, and I was just going to let them rot. Shut the door, lock it tight, and open it years from now to see absolutely nothing but cobwebs. Not have a breakdown less than three months down the line and threaten to kill the woman I love more than life itself.” He put the brush carefully back in the toolbox and lifted out a softer one.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” she merely said. “And you need to be kinder to yourself. You’ve done more than you realize, and let’s be honest; I’m not the only damaged one here. You are, too, and you know it. You’ve told me so.” He shrugged, and she sighed in response. “It’s not something to be ashamed of,” she said. “None of this is.”

“Doesn’t mean I have to like it,” he replied. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m accustomed to not being trusted, but right now I can barely trust myself. I’m afraid of my own mind. Fear. Grief. Vulnerability. They’re all weakness.”

“They’re _not,_ though.” Her voice was firm. “They’re necessary. You’re just not used to carrying them around out in the open like you are now. You’ve been so used to overlooking them or shoving them down or hiding them behind something else that you don’t know what to do with them, if you ever really did.”

“Like love?”

Her brows knit. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

“What were you worried about?” he asked in answer. “Back on the helicarrier, when I told you how I felt. After Thor. You told me to be sure it was what I thought it was. What were you worried it was?”

Her voice drifted over the buckskin. “Anything, really. I just didn’t want you to mistake love for something else.” She switched brushes.

“Such as?”

“Gratitude. Familiarity. Affection. A lack of experience. Stockholm. No other options. Any number of things.” Aeslin shrugged as she came around Trig’s flank to begin working on the other side. “I mean, think about it. I was one of the first people you met once you were up and about after the wormhole. You hadn’t had much other contact, so I figured that you were just used to me. That you didn’t know any better. We were friends. We got along, for the most part. It seemed an easy mistake.”

He chuckled a little. “Doesn’t say much for your self-regard.”

“No,” she admitted. “It probably doesn’t, but it also doesn’t mean I wasn’t right.”

“Well,” he said thoughtfully, smoothing his hand along Bean’s flank, “you’re not wrong. I mean, you are, but at the same time you’re not. Affection, absolutely. Gratitude, without question. I don’t think you have any idea how deeply in debt I feel to you and your brother both.” He went on carefully, watching her shoulders. She came toward him, slipping Bean's rope from its hook and leading him back to his stall. Trig and Loki followed, the horse without rope or bridle and more loyal than any dog in Odin’s kennels, and Loki smiled and scratched along his mane. 

“I’m not going to argue the fact that you were the first person on this realm besides my brother to treat me with anything close to kindness,” he went on as the gate closed behind the grey, “but you seem to think I’ve never been in love. I’m centuries old, little one. The odds are in my favor.”

She latched the stall door and looked at him; he felt, not for the first time, that she was staring directly into what was left of his soul. “Are they. Sentiment, remember? Too dangerous for the likes of you.” He met her gaze as best he could, and after a long moment, she gave him a sad sort of smile. “Who was it?”

“Her name was Signe,” Loki replied, “and it was the second most foolish thing I’ve ever done.” He opened Trig’s stall door slowly, his voice even. “Odin was not the first in my life to cast me aside, and believe me when I tell you that I know what love is and what it is not.” The giant buckskin bunted his head against Loki gently on the way in, and Loki patted him in response. “I love you, Aeslin, and while there are many things I don’t understand, many things I question, _that_ , darling, is not one of them. Nor will it ever be.” He let the words sink in, briefly, then smiled as he closed the gate and latched it. “And if we could perhaps change the subject now, I’d be most grateful.”

***

Loki lost himself in the day’s work, idly wondering now and again how hard Heimdall must have been laughing at the sight of the royal spare mucking out stalls and bribing recalcitrant horses with mints when they wouldn’t cooperate. He let his mind wander, sorting through what had been said and what hadn’t, and by the time Aeslin retrieved him late in the afternoon, he’d come to a decision. He pulled his phone from his pocket on the way to the car, tapping out a quick text message, then replaced it and took her hand.

His phone rang that evening, and he smiled at Aeslin as he stepped over her legs and went out onto the deck, washed clean of glass and holding four new chairs and a table.

“Sergeant Wilson,” he said in greeting. “So glad you called back.”

***

They stood at the edge of the landing pad, a glorified parking lot tucked away somewhere in the midst of Tony’s property, blocking their eyes from the sun as they watched the Quinjet land.

Barton was the first one out, bounding across the concrete with a backpack in his hands. He engulfed Aeslin in a hug, slapped Stark on the back and shook Loki’s hand in rapid succession, and Loki looked beyond him to the figures coming down the ramp. Rogers lifted a hand in greeting, as did the casually-dressed man walking next to him, and Stark clapped Loki on the shoulder. The sunglasses on his eyes did nothing to hide his smile as he watched Rogers and Wilson cross the landing pad toward them.

“What’d I tell you, sport?” he said to Loki. “We move heaven and earth for each other. And if we can’t move it?” A slight shrug. “Well, then. We just fly over it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not beta read, and like I said, these chapters got a little out of control. I'm pretty proud of them, though. Please let me know what you think, or if you see any glaring errors or inconsistencies. :) Love you guys! 
> 
> Shoutout to the brilliant LokiSpeaks for helping me with horse/plant names. (And yes, Trig's a nickname like Bean. You'll get his full name later.) 
> 
> Also, it makes sense to me that Sam is an NCO. Most paratroopers are, from my experience, so with everything he was doing I think it reasonable that he's probably around a Sergeant First Class. (which means he technically outranks Steve but not Rhodes.)
> 
> ALLLLLSO, the next installment will probably be a little bit of a time jump, so if you'd like to see anything that you think might come after this, or even just an idea or a prompt for a one-shot, please share! You can leave a comment here (please leave a comment because they make me SO HAPPY) or message me on tumblr at sweetmauleymalloy. :)

**Author's Note:**

> Family is what you make of it. If you don't have it, build it.
> 
> Not beta read. Feedcrack appreciated! There's a LOT of headcanon that goes with this one, but I'll spare you unless you ask for it. Love you all! This is turning out to be one of the Mondayest Tuesdays ever, so good vibes also appreciated. <3
> 
> Lyric and Title from "World on Fire" by Sarah MacLachlan.


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